Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
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