So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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