should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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