piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
