I accidentally burped into my bong.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize