Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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