he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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