I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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