this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
