Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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