Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Who wears a wallet chain?!
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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