i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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