Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Randomize
