as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Randomize
