White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
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