I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
