I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Randomize
