Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Randomize
