Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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