operation harelip BJ is a go
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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