i don't plan on having that self control this summer
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Randomize
