Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
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