Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
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