I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Randomize
