Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Randomize
