We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
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