I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Randomize
