i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
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