new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
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