My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
