I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
