just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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