Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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