why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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