My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
