Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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