You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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