just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
