First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
You may now shotgun with the bride
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Randomize
