Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
