laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
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