i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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