omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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