If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
