I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Randomize
