i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Randomize