Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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