The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
