How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
