There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
