new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
