my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Randomize