so that wasnt chicken after all
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
