it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
