Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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