woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
