Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
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