you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
