In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
